Ndidi

I love cats. I really really do.

As I drove from Vancouver to Calgary on my last long Canadian road trip until 2010, god willing, I was overcome with a strong sense of nostalgia.

On our drive we passed two small towns( one now boasts a population of 10,000 during the winter season, however when I lived there the total was approx. 1500),both of which I was stuck in during a small portion of my formative years.

In those towns I encountered some of the most ignorant racist peoples I have ever met. I was harassed, tormented, and ostracized. It was awful. This,my friends, is small town Canada.

This type of treatment still exists today.

However I am not going to make this entry a downer, yes I did encounter some horrible people, I also encountered a few diamonds in the rough. One of these wonderful individuals gave me my first job.

It was working weekends at a bookstore, heaven for a nerd like me. I was given the task of cleaning and manning the till. I spent my days dusting and reading.

A year into my fabulous job, on my birthday to be exact, I asked for my paycheque in advance, because that was the day I was going to get myself a kitten.

I had been planning this for weeks, I found out through the 7-11 grapevine(this was where all the kids hung out, it was more commonly referred to as  “The Sev”) that one of the trailer park kids had kittens to give away. I wrote the address down in my diary and planned my big day.

A week prior I used all that I saved to buy a litter box, litter, food(wet and dry),food dishes, some rubber balls and a cat brush  and hid all  of these items in my closet.

I should at this point mention I was not actually allowed to have a pet.

That was not going to stop me, I was certain once my mother saw the worlds cutest kitten and noticed how responsible I was, she would allow me to live  my dream which at the time was owning a cat.

So I got my paycheque early, grabbed some cash and biked to the trailer park.

I knew right away where to go, there was a cardboard sign with the word kittens at the entrance and an arrow pointing me to my mecca.

I knocked on the door, a robust man in a ‘Whitesnake’ t-shirt answered. At that time most  adults sounded to me like the parents in Charlie Brown so I don’t actually remember the conversation, but I do recall handing said Mr.Snake  twenty bucks, and being directed towards a box.

There they were KITTENS!!

I  was memorized, I had decided on a name and so I figured if I said the name aloud which ever one of these little angels looked in my direction  would be mine.

“George” I whispered softly,”George”

No one noticed so I spoke a little louder,”George!”

Silence and then I heard it, mew, mew, a white kitten with a grey patch around it’s right  eye had  answered my call.

I picked up “George” put her in my basket(yes it was a she) and away we rode.

I would like to say that George and I lived happily ever after, but we didn’t.

After two weeks of having a best friend, I was busted. My mother came into my room, guns a blazing and took  one looked at George, put her in the basement and then later gave her to a family across town. I went on hunger strike and never slept  in that house again.

I did on occasion see George. She lived happily ever after. Just without me.

That is why I think I am obsessed with writing  blues-esque songs about cats. It is my way of showing  undying devotion to the one that got away.

Oh George.

The memory is such a funny thing. Instead of noticing the beauty of my ever changing surroundings,  or being reminded of how far I had come, all I could think about on that long journey was a small kitten that I had for two weeks when I was 12.

I really do wonder what the point of that was.

It did mentally solidify the fact that if I don’t start really living, I am going to end up being a multiple scarf wearing, cat owning, granny that  spends her nights watching BBC shows and playing poker with her lady friends at the legion.

Ahh life.. don’t take it for granted!

Good bye diverse music. I will miss you

I smell an election.

It is very very interesting that as the popularity of the Conservatives steadily declines, suddenly they are replacing the arts funding they previously cut.

Don’t be fooled kids.

It’s a ploy.  Whenever any unpopular group is under pressure they will do whatever is necessary to show that  they are really working for the people.

What is interesting to me regarding the new “Arts funding ” is that a major program responsible for funding independant artists as well as creative artists has been cut.

So ladies and gentlemen, yes, there will be funding. but alas only for Nickleback upstarts and various other forms of corporate/trendy music. That’s the Conservative party for you,  they  support the arts in theory. In reality however they  are primarily willing to support  those that we hear on commercial radio because as we all know commercial radio music is “Art” . It just makes money which this party wants.

It is my hope that my sarcasm translates. One never knows how things are perceived when using the computer world as a medium.

I find this disappointing. How can one possibly ensure that diversity  and creativity in Canadian music will continue when a major program responsible for supporting diverse music has been cut. it really doesn’t make much sense to me.

Even though musically, I suppose I exist in the commercial world, albeit the fringes. I would happily sacrifice funding for the likes of myself to ensure that true diversity in Canadian music can truly exist.

I had hoped to write about kittens today but I received an email with this news and felt it necessary to perhaps speak about this.

Kittens I promise will be the next entry.

It is my hope that Canadian listeners, begin to pay attention to what it is they are being fed, and hopefully begin to realize that the beauty that is Canada is slowly being destroyed. It is my hope that the Canadian audience will demand something challenging , provoking and interesting in their music. It is my hope that they will yearn not only for entertainment but for inspiration and in turn show their unrest at the lose of artistic, creative and independant Canadian music.

We need to become a stronger voice. We need to show the world that we are a diverse and active culture. Our elected officials do not represent the actual make up of this country.

Playing overseas I realized that when people look at me they inquire in regards to where my parents are from, if they don’t  immediately inquire as to where I am from hey assume I am US citizen because ethnic musicians do not exists in Canada, or so it would seem by the lack of representation on an international scale.

We have so much work to do to allow our voices to be heard and having officials that seem content to make us out to be bland, uncreative and apathetic peoples is appalling.

I promise it will change but it will take us getting active and recognizing the beauty that is our country.

It is hot. Really really hot.

Ahh, summer is here!

The ocean scent tickles my noise as the hot air gently blows my hair causing it to stick to the side of my sweaty(pardon me glistening) face. I smile as this happens and thank the god’s of global warming for turning  my once moderate climate into a fire pit.

There is this amazing phenomena that occurs when the temperature hits 35 degrees( that’s celsius folks), it is a little something I like to call “the heat crazies”

An example:

It’s lunchtime downtown Vancouver. I am looking at books when the low grumble in my belly turns into a howl and it becomes very apparent that it is time to eat.

I purchase my books spot a little restaurant across the street and walk over.

I get seated order my meal, and open up one of my delightful purchases and begin to read. The door opens and in walks a rather frantic lady who is also glistening thanks to the oppressive heat. I assume she is doing what I had done which was to find relief in an air conditioned room that served food. As she walks by my table she pauses, glances down at my novel and ask, ” So what do you think of it?”

I respond,” Oh this, well I just bought it and am currently on page seven so I am a little undecided as to where I stand in regards to the quality of this novel.”

Awkward pause

She replies,” Well, I made it halfway through and then threw the book in the garbage. Oh it was awful. I love his style but this book just seemed to drag on and on and on. Oh it was just awful. I couldn’t believe it!”

Again, awkward pause.

“Oh” I quietly reply

“Well,” she says,” I was just curious to see what someone else thought of the book. Good luck.”,  and with that she scans the restaurant, decides nothing is appealing and  walks out the door.

The heat makes you crazy, or perhaps it is just me. I may very well attract these sorts of interactions in order to write. I hope that is the case, and that this event wasn’t just a mirage, due to my own case of the heat crazies.

Enough of that, I realize I haven’t written in quite a while so I am going to do my best to re-cap all that has happened.

I returned from Europe( I am in love, oh my European music lovers bless your hearts!) and was overwhelmed by all of the love my Canadian crowds showed( I will always love you the best. Always!)

I then joined a jug band project called “Sankofa”, did some recording for a children’s book and played an amazing festival in the Kootenay’s.

Now I am attempting to write during a heat wave, trying  learn french, and gearing up to play my last canadian gigs of the summer, that happen to be my last few Canadian dates  until 2010.

Big changes are a coming. I am excited and hope you are too!

Well gang, my palms are sweating and typing has become hard, I promise, there will be more, stay tuned for my tales of kittens, the dark side and writing woes!

I promise  it is going to get juicy!!

I am sending you all much love.

Stay Cool!

Extreme Disappointment

BC !!!!!! How/Why  did you re-elect Gordon Campbell?

Here goes another 4 years of breaks for the wealthy and nothing for the poor. Is anyone aware that BC has the highest child poverty rate in all of Canada? According to old Gordo that doesn’t matter. This Social Credit( Conservative) Administration has successfully put us in the top spot. A spot which  we have stayed in for the last 4 years and now thanks to the dismal vote we shall stay there.

I fear for women, children and the workers of BC. We are all screwed.

I fear for the people of Canada. We need to get this government out of office.

We need to stop being apathetic and work hard to get voters aware of exactly what is at stake in the next election. If we don’t start making the changes this lovely country will turn to waste.

Hey Gordie baby here is a thought.. making your transportation minister the new health minister is a disaster waiting to happen. I knew you were slow but really..?? really???

I had higher hopes…

coca cola paris

A month into my life here in Paris, I have come to realize a few things. Parisian audiences are great but very similar to Ontario audiences,(no offense Ontario),at least in movement. They tend to like their chairs out here. A lot. However they are very, very, very attentive. If I wasn’t craving that attention I would most likely find it unnerving. 

Another  difference is that here, couples make out to your music while you play live. That is something Canadian audiences don’t do. Back home we tend to keep our romantic notions and desires under wraps until foreign eyes are not upon us. Here, love is love and when you are listening to sweet songs and your heart is open, it is perfectly natural to stick your tongue repetitively down your lovers throat.

Now that, I found a bit distracting. I mean its not often you get invited into ones bedroom, and here night after night I am a witness to the french art of romance. It is also a common sight on most streets, pretty much all day and night long.  Should we Canadians become more free with love/romance?? We are not  a very romantic culture. I wonder why that is?  Hmm… something to think about. Perhaps I will tackle that concept next blog. 

Here is something that is the same on an international level. After 4 beautiful nights playing for beautiful full house crowds, after really connecting with the folks, and really having a good time, I got some insight into the inner workings of the business. The critic/media person/label. Now I happen to be on a great label out here but a label is a label and what do they do, label. I quote,” Beautiful show Ndidi, just great. You are great and you sing just everything, but now you must make a choice. What do you want to be rock, blues, pop? what ? what?”

Interesting. 

To that I have this to say. Stick it!  I write songs, I tell stories, I do not think of bloody genre’s when making a work that is meant to express a tale and connect with people. By people I mean myself and in turn an audience.  

I will never ever think in those terms.  I am always going to be myself and create whatever tone and sound, whatever story I feel will connect with the truth and provide the necessary energy in any situation. I cannot help but feel as though our planet is rapidly destructing because of this sort of thought. This limited thought. It exists in all spectrum’s of life and it is  killing us. I will not be a part of it, but as you all can tell by my mini rant. It sure did piss me off, and inspire me to work even harder to be even more open and truthful in all that I do.

There is another phenomena that I am very curious about. Coca Cola.

Now upon writing those words, one might expect me to go on a tirade regarding the the current diet of man, and all the terrible things the Coca Cola Corp is responsible for, but today is not that day.  I am merely amazed at the amount of Coca Cola the french consume. It amazing. I suppose I am amazed because back home Cola is something to be avoided, its generally thought to be extremely  unhealthy and we are warned against it. I suppose I shouldn’t think a culture known for its drinking and smoking should/would  care about health warnings, but a part of me finds the overwhelming consumption of Cola( diet Cola to be exact) appalling and scary. Everyone drinks it, kids, parents,grandparents, everyone, everywhere. I now know where they are making all their money. 

Now I have seen many a cemetary, many a museum and many an beautiful building. I appreciate the history of this city and I am slowly but surely getting to know some people and finding my own spots,( with a bit of help and guidance from friend that has lived here before..RT bless your heart!!), but the homesickness has seeped in nonetheless. 

I am beginning to understand how my parents must have felt. Being in a country where the culture, weather and  sound of voices are different  from what you have always known. Where you are alone. Though the streets are crowded, you walk them living predominantly in your head. It’s hard and frustrating. I long to talk, but I am stunted. My english has become slow and simplified, its been reduced to the vocabulary of an 8 year old. My french is equally as bad. I tend to say what is on my mind but the blank stares that I keep getting  have quenched my desire to try and have a normal conversation with anyone.

I have always known that to be an immigrant is a tough road To have to uproot your entire way of life and to have to begin to adapt to the sounds of another country, continent is hard. My parents always used to say, “You are lucky to be here. Don’t forget that. Finish your meal. No you cannot leave the table until your plate is empty”

I find myself figuring out who the English speaking tourist are and following them around. Just so that I can hear them speak. However in general I tend to steer clear of the hot spots for visitors, but when I do, I am the woman sitting on the bench wistfully staring at the couple giggling and while trying to figure out where they are going to go next in perfect english. Perfect, fast paced english.  

There is one place I feel at home and I find myself being understood and that is the stage. For some reason, in normal conversation no one seems to understand what I am saying but   I get on the stage and speak as and I always  seem to translate. Art the international communicator.

 Why oh why do governments, businesses keep trying to  deny the magnitude, the actual importance of art and culture in societies both national and international? It would be a sad world without art. It has been on quite the downward spiral since the commercialization of arts and culture. I was recently informed that the public doesn’t care about music. They merely want to be fed, and that they will eat whatever they are given. As sad as that statement made me, after looking and listening to what is being created and sold, I cannot help but realize and accept the truth in this statement.

We need to wake up world. What is it going to take. Complete annihilation. Well we are rapidly approaching that goal.

I know that those that read this and those that I seem to know are fighting for this world and we will keep fighting through creation, innovation and unification, but we need you.. we need you…

Well to wrap this up, all in all this first month has been exciting(musically, performance wise, creation wise) challenging(language barrier)  and lonely( missing my friends, family et vous all.)

My achin’ heart

Heart palpitaitons.

I have begun to develop these. These attacks start every time a french sentence is set to come out of my mouth.  My palms begin to sweat, the lights get brighter, the room spins. Waves of naseau overtake me as I begin to talk. 

How am I going to learn this language if every moment I must speak it, I am prone to a panic attack? How anyone? Anyone?? I know, I know a tutor, breathing exercises etc..

I really didn’t think I  was a person that really felt panic. 

I never used to feel such stress over something as simple as talking. I might be losing it a bit.

Well onto a more savoury discussion. Enough talk of my personal speech/health issue.

This city, this Paris. Yes it is beautiful. Yes there is an unsettling sense of history that exists on every pane, every concrete block. Yet I find myself yearning for the woods, the trees, the ocean, the mountains, my home.

I find this quite strange. I am so excited to be here and happy to have a career that is a alive and  full of shows, interviews, tv shows,(with famous people.. whooo-kidding I jest about the whooing but not the famous people), and music making. A lot of music making, I actually feel like a musician on this continent. However I yearn for home and miss it. 

I miss you all. I miss the, albeit annoying and shoddy, government that I get to canvas against. I miss my garden. I miss my piano, my loves(family etc),and  my cat.

I suppose I write this because for the first time in my constantly moving life, I realize that I have a home and that it is something to be missed!!

That all being said I still look forward to the challenge of making Paris, Europe my halftime home. I just need to get over the transition pains and my neighbours that insist on playing Sting full blast 6 out of 7 nights a week. After the CD is finished they proceed to bring out an acoustic guitar and sing said Sting songs until the wee hours. It does in fact drive me crazy. I have invested heavily in ear plugs. God Bless em!

I can’t really speak french! It’s making me crazy.

I am sick of this mini-van, yes sick of its smell, sick of all the damn fuel it eats (even though it is one of those new fuel efficient hybrid-esque vans) I am sick of  being rammed into a confined space with  no room to breathe/move.

I am also a wee bit tired of navigating and you know what , I am not trying to be a sexist but men do not have the best sense of direction and don’t always listen, and we have often been blown 20 minutes off course because no one listened to me.  Oh the joys of an all male band. I do love them. 

Lucky for me I am off to Paris a hugely populated crammed city , whoo hoo!

Truly I am extremely excited to get out there and drop kick some music on the french speakers.

I am desperately trying  to get a few more words in my vocabulary but seems futile at this point. I am hoping that after the next few months I will at least be able to hold the most basic of conversations, for now its back to my tactic of mumbling, speaking quietly and attempting to see if I combine english and spanish with a few french words thrown in the mix  if folks  will understand me.

I will report back to you on whether it worked or not.

It is a couple of days later.The flying was a nightmare, we almost all didn’t make it.

Air Canada is not very pleasant the skies are not friendly when you are with them Which begs the question if  they  hate people that much why are they in the service industry?

Upon landing it was immediate work, delirious interviews and radio shows and a couple of tv things thrown in the mix it was crazy let me tell you.

We then played two really fun sets, set 1 was a little wonky but we really gelled by the second time around, however I made a couple of errors, apparently when speaking about a cat you do not use the words ma chat, it should be mon chat , because ma chat means refers to the  female area of love. The folks were laughing, I  just thought my jokes were funny.

Faux pas deux was the following, the lights were hot I was sweating seriously sweating the singing and the dancing was causing my pores to open and the sweat just wouldn’t stop running.  I was a human waterfall. Rather than not acknowledge the fact that I was dripping all over the first row, I said je suis chaud instead of j’ai chaud( I always mix those two verbs up) anyhow, saying je suis chaud means, I’m hot but in the wanting to get  it going on way , not in the physical sense, again the laughter I thought was merely regarding my joke telling, alas wrong was I, it was regarding my inability to get anything right. Today is another day and I am a fast learning

Adieu from Paris where it is cold and wet..

Blogging the never ending chore.

Blogging is bogging me down

It has recently been brought to my attention via a good friend that folks do indeed read blogs, so now that I am aware that people actually read these things I am going to use this to my advantage.

First off I want to give all my Ontario folks a big big shout out. Those of you that have been at the shows have been really fantastic. How fantastic one might ask. well allow me to explain:

Let’s start with Toronto because that show was the most recent.

A room full of great friends and family and  Margaret Atwood who happens to be my favorite Canadian writer. I really wanted to get the chance to meet and talk with her but I didn’t. Oh well I truly hope there will be a next time. I was starstuck and nervous for about 3 seconds, then I forgot she was there.

Not only was the crowd mind boggling I got the opportunity to play with Kinnie Starr who is in a word fantastic and an amazing performer it was such an honour to share a stage with her. She literally kicked ass.

Then prior to that we have shows in Ottawa & Burnstown(not Burnside as i had formerly thought) which were again truly fantastic, I have been pleasantly surprised by the Ontario crowds, their chair dancing moves were absolutely exceptional.

Dr. Fry  the Vancouver Centre MP came to the Ottawa show. We got to some  talking and I was invited up to the hill the hear the open speakers and to attend a cocktail party. Now as you all  know I am constantly writing about my eventual move into politics its nice to see the  universe is listening, unfortunately or fortunately ( for old beady eyed Harper that is) I was not able to attend due to my overseas journey. It would have been great, to see the house in action and then perhaps to see what happens at some of these infamous MP cocktail parties.  Yes ladies and gentlemen our tax dollars are hard at work filling the bars of the Parliamentary halls. I do believe that much political business gets sorted over a stiff one or two.

Sheesh!!

Back to shows, well one of the greatest blessings of this run was getting to play with the lovely and ridiculously talented Valery Gore, you should all have this woman’s record it is just beautiful.

The early Ontario gigs were a little sparse but those that came really gave so much it was easy to keep the energetic cycle going. I must say I have a new affection for this province and I think I will come back.

Another Sunny Sunday

There is something about a beautiful day that can really alter ones state of mind.

It is absolutely beautiful out here. The ocean is glistening and the sun is warm and I actually believe that spring is really truly happening. It is a miracle, though the rains will fall as they are inclined to do on this side of the world, the fact that my thermometer is telling me it’s 18 degrees is cause for celebration. 

Let’s celebrate!

On the musical front though saddled with a strange cold, I recorded some new material for my future record.. all in all I am pretty excited about it, some of the new tunes will be debuted on my upcoming tour!! For those of you out east its going to be a fun time!!

Life after the Party

Well its over and done with. The old JUNO’S have come and gone and I have solidified my position as a 2009 nominee…

It was a pretty rambunctious few days.I saw a lot of folks I knew, I said hi and watched them ignore me it was great!!! I have always known that in this world everything at some point in time when profit is involved becomes a business, but to be thrown into the business side at full tilt was pretty ridiculous. These awards are a joke.I could get into it more but here is my final statement. They have nothing to do with actual music or the making of it, or the creation of audience 

Now onto more important things.

I am sad very sad at the fact that we are allowing this disgusting government to shut down and basically pull all funds from the arts. CBC, FACTOR, CANADA COUNCIL I am pretty sure is next.

How can we live in a culture without any regard to actual art?

So now I suppose we all have to make shitty pop music.. just make songs that sound just like everyone else in order to what make art?

The fact that the Minister of Culture(Heritage) James Moore said and I quote”You want to know what the future of Canadian culture is what is really making an impact? Ask a 15 year old. They really have their finger on the pulse of what is good in our country.”

I wee bit of barf was in my mouth when I read that. Then anger.

I do not want to be angry lady but I have had enough. Its bad enough that I was at a gong show of an  industry function that just exemplified how lame the actual Canadian “tastemakers” are. The fact that they  give awards to  music that does not involve actual musical ability it’s just drivel pumped out of a machine,( please note there are exceptions of course but the actual music categories are not televised)but to have to be at that event and see that no one seemed to care.  Almost all of those artists got their start with the aid of at least one of those granting bodies, now that they have major contracts they just did not seem to  care.  Not one person stood up and said I feel this is wrong and our country has reached a dangerous point of apathy. It was just like watching a bunch of puppet.

SHAME SHAME SHAME.

I really am thinking I am going to have to transition into political office faster than I thought because this is really an all time low. To those up and coming artist who really can benefit with the funding that once existed I apologize. Your job is going to be harder but please DO NOT STOP. We need you!!!

We are in hard times yes, but taking away from Canada’s culture in order to give bigger tax breaks or loans to your corporate buddies is not the answer. Giving bailouts  to banks only to watch them give bonus’ to employees, again not the answer. Just appalling. There is no fiscal plan. They just pull first from social services, education and then of course the arts. The 3 things that people NEED in hard times they pull from. Idiots.

That little man needs to be ousted and I cannot do it alone. Please find petitions sign them join groups that are vocal about the unhappiness with this pathetic excuse of a government that we are forced to pay taxes to. Write to your MP’s. We need to stand up Canada and let it be known that the majority of this country DOES NOT SUPPORT THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY.  Use your voice.  

I do believe I have ranted enough for today.

On a happy note, I went to the mall the other day and saw a posse of older men (grandpa’s) all sitting around and placing their weekly sporting bets. They were so cute. It made me wish I had one. A grandpa that is.

Toodle-oo